I believe that I'm living a day behind everyone else. Maybe I somehow got off the worlds calender and on to the Mayan calender,which means that my world will be ending in 2012. This could mean that it really doesn't matter that I turned the second draft of my essay in a day late, because I won't exist two years from now.
I am writing this with urgency because I have to leave for work in less then an hour, and being that I thought it was yesterday, I didn't realize this was due today (today meaning Oct. 10 2009). My anxiety about this, coupled with the big cup of coffee I just guzzled, has given me shaky hands and a palpating heart. What good is all the anxiousness? What, in the grand sense if things, does it matter if I don't get an A in this class; I should really be more concerned with what I have learned opposed to what letter grade I made. Does one reflect the other? Maybe, but maybe not. If I had not taken this class then I wouldn't have learned anything, which would qualify as an F, not actually or concretely because I wouldn't have been in the class to begin with, but intellectually. Regardless of what I make in this class, I am a more educated person because of it. Focusing on a letter grade, instead of focusing on what you are comprehending and how you can apply it to life, is shallow.
Phew...I might be rationalizing unacceptable behavior, but I needed to give myself a pep talk so that I could persevere. I don't want to be the one always late in life, I've always heard that it's a form of passive aggression and I don't like the idea of being an aggressive person. Thanks for listening to my ramblings. I feel slightly more centered and a little less late.
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After reading this, Emily, time is out of joint for me. What day is it again?
ReplyDeleteYour "rationalization" is a good one. We should concentrate on what we've learned, not the grade. And you won't dissolve into a mist if you don't make an A. Sometimes, you need to cut yourself some slack.
K. Smith
Eng. 226